babies were throwing up all over the place
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I AM VODKA MAN
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
