I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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