Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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