I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
