what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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