But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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