She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
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