Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
