She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
