I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
