just tell him i said nine months
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize