Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
