butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
