Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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