Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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