I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
