just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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