Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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