Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
