wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
