So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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