And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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