You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
