We're like a lot better than the average bears
why didn't you poke me back
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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