Pappa wants mamma naked
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
