We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
