his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
