i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
