Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
