dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
