I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
