I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
