they need to just BURY HIM!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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