oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize