It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
