hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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