Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
