I cockslap morals
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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