it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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