i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
