dude i'm inner monologue high
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
