I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
