How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
