Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
