Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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