i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
