the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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