I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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