I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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