turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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