How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
