Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
