She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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