Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
