we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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