smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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