Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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