He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
