You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
