quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
