she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
